Still alive

In grant hell right now.
On-site interview went swimmingly well.
First phone interview resulted in an on-site interview starting next week.
Another phone interview tomorrow for  *gasp* a non-academic position*gasp*.
Sill 24 schools that I have not heard a thing from (good or bad) via phone, e-mail or smoke signal.
Cautiously optimistic at this point.
Back to grant writing hell......stay tuned for more. Soon. I promise.

Not so stressed?

The twitch, it seemed, magically disappeared once I determined that I had purified active protein in an amount that was suitable for the scientist in my lab to do his voodoo-magic with (which, by the way need to be done soon-- the RO1 is due to the grants office in roughly two weeks).

Still, I am surprised about the lack of nervousness I am feeling.  Tomorrow is my first phone interview ever and Monday I fly out to another interview at a fairly decent university (got the call yesterday).  Two rejections (one via snail mail, one via e-mail) didn't even put a dent in my mood.  Coupled with grant writing and general lab BS, I really thought that my brain would be toast by now and my nerves completely shot.  The thought of going shopping this week for some appropriate interview clothes should be sending me in a tizzy (I hate clothes shopping- especially on a deadline).  But no, not so much. I am feeling very..."meh" at this point.  

At least, for right now.

Twitch Part Deaux

The twitching has increased exponentially as I have received an e-mail asking for a list of time/dates that would be ideal for scheduling a phone interview for a TT- faculty position.

I'm smiling, no really.  Ignore the twitch that is turning my face into a sneer. 

Maybe I should BoTox my eye before any on-sight interviews.....

Twitch...Twitch

When I was writing up my thesis, I was beyond stressed.  Mr. Dr. Zeek and I had moved to post-doc city which was about an hour-and-a-half commute  from grad school city (and hometown).  No biggy, in the great grand scheme of things, until you realize that grad adviser was still having me set up experiments.  I was running experiments until the week before my thesis defense.  That meant a Mon-Wed-Fri or Mon-Tues-Thurs-Fri 3-hr round trip commute to grad school.  This along with writing the thesis, adjusting to a new city and lab (I was unofficially working in post-doc lab before I defended) and taking care of Mr. Dr. Zeek, who had just had major surgery exactly 1 month before we moved to post-doc city, made for one stressed out soon-to-be Dr. Zeek.

This went on for three months and it was three months of hell.  During that time, I =had developed a "nervous" tick.  My lower left eyelid would *twitch* (it's hard to describe, but I could feel it moving).  No one could see it moving until I got really stressed.  It was the most annoying thing in the world.  No, wait, the vertigo that followed (another stressed-out tick?) was the worst. Thing. Ever.

After all the bullshit was over, the nervous ticks went away and I wondered how I got through those few months.  I never thought I would ever be that stressed out again.  Never had the twitching eye again either, or the vertigo.

Life is good, no?

That is until last week when I noticed that weird wiggly feeling in my left eye. Which has progressively been getting worse.  Which has now reached the noticeable stage. Which also seems to come on stronger when I think about job applications, grant writing, failed experiments.  Even the internal debate of "what am I going to make us for dinner" seems to trigger a bout of uncontrollable eye movement.  Now I knew I was stressed a bit these last few weeks, but I didn't realize how stressed out I was until the eye-twitching.

As long as the vertigo doesn't come back, though, I think I'll be good.